My first year of marriage is absolutely flying by, I can’t quite believe it has been eight months since we said “I do”, but what an exciting first few months it has been. I don’t think I had a clue what would happen after we became Mr & Mrs, and I guess I assumed life would just be pretty much the same, but there are a few things that happen after you get married that I think most married couples will agree with.
From honeymoon blues to your families obsessing over when the babies will arrive, the months after you become newlyweds is an interesting one, full of transition, emotions and a ton of free ‘non-wedding planning’ time.
So what happens when you get married…
You get honeymoon blues
Joss and I were really lucky and were able to take a month of work around our wedding, enjoying the day itself, Christmas and then an epic Asian adventure. So going back to work added a whole new layer to the January blues. I was absolutely gutted. Sounds silly, but I missed him, I had spent every minute of every day with him traveling for three whole weeks so to wave goodbye to him and head off to work seemed like torture. I also had that weird feeling of needing to do something new – I can only liken it to the feeling of your need for excitement post break up – so I grabbed the long locks I had so lovingly grown for the wedding and chopped them all off! Seven months later I am still rocking – an even shorter – bob.
You suddenly have lots of spare time
Wedding planning is a huge part of your life so it’s only natural that when it is over you feel like you have a ton of free time on your hands. So if you are anything like me you will want to find something else to fill it with. I joined my local Christmas Fayre committee, started a charity and Spinkdot and I am now super lucky to be a Bridesmaid for two of my best friends next year, so I am still getting the wedding buzz through them, but I felt lost for quite a while after.
You won’t remember your name
I still can’t remember what my name is, eight months on. I was a Farmer for 27 years so it just rolls off the tongue. Don’t get me wrong I love being a Spinks but I am still filling in forms wrong and signing up the gym with the wrong name. It also takes a while to get used to being a Mrs and not a Miss, I am sure I will get there in the end.
You suddenly feel very grown up
I didn’t think I would feel much different as I had already done the moving out, buying a house, getting a dog etc – all the things grown-ups do. But as soon as you have to say “My Husband” you feel like you have aged by 20 years, it is bizarre. Being married is like serious adulting.
You constantly get asked when you are having babies
Ok, we get it, you all want us to have super cute babies so you can cuddle them and hand them back when they cry and poop! We will have them – I hope – when we are ready. But seriously, if you took a pound off everyone who asked you when you were having babies after you get married then you would pay your mortgage off in no time.
You feel like a team
Nothing says team quite like a duo with the same surname. It just feels different. Being Husband and Wife means you have made a commitment to tackle life’s shit together and whatever happens you are a unit and you will get through it together. I really felt this after we got married and sharing one name did make me feel like we now had our own little family.
You show everyone your wedding pictures
You will want to show anyone and everyone the great pictures you had of the day and let’s be honest you will be looking the best you’ve ever looked. The months of preparation and hundreds of pounds you spent on preening are well worth sharing with all that will listen. My client asked if I had any pictures and I sent across all 800! I couldn’t choose which ones I liked the best so she had to see them all – she must have thought I was mad.
You stop keeping secrets
Joss and I never really had secrets anyway but when you get married you do start to feel like you can’t keep anything too big to yourself anymore. You start to release that what you do doesn’t just affect you anymore and that actually you are in this together. So whether it’s work, money, health or family/friend dramas, no more secrets, you just flesh it out together.
You make plans for the future
I think being married makes you start to look ahead to the future, whether that be family planning, house moves, travel or work changes, you start to think about what the future might bring and it all feels very exciting.
You feel more confident in yourself
You have bagged the man of your dreams and every time you see that ring on his hand you feel a super spark of sass that reminds you, he is all yours. And knowing they are “your Husband” makes them even more attractive!