What all brides really want from their Bridesmaids

Posted In: Weddings


Being a Bridesmaid is one of the most important roles at a wedding and you won’t have been chosen without a huge amount of thought. If you have been lucky enough to be asked to be a Bridesmaid it is because the Bride – and Groom – want you to be part of their special day. She needs her girls by her side and she knows she couldn’t make this journey without you, so make sure you enjoy the path together.

Take your duty as a Bridesmaid seriously as the Bride will want so much more from you than an epic hen do – although that is always the top priority. You will be her confidant, her sounding board, the calm in her storm and the one that gets the tequilas in when it all just gets too much.

And talking of Bridesmaids, this month marks one whole year since my fabulous hen do and I can honestly say I couldn’t have asked for a better bunch of Bridesmaids who were there for me every step of the way. So, with nostalgia in the air, I thought I would put together an honest list of all the things every Bride wants from her Bridesmaid, even if she doesn’t say it.


If she asks for your opinion it’s because she actually wants it. Don’t tell her you love her choice of flowers if you don’t and tell her if her hair doesn’t look the way it should on her trial. All Brides want reassurance from their girls and even more so on their wedding. Just tell the truth, she will love you for it.

Be Tactful

The best thing you can do alongside telling the truth is to know when to keep your mouth shut. If the Bride is telling you she has just booked the horse-drawn carriage she has dreamt of her whole life, now is not the time to pipe up and say you think she will look like Katie Price. It may be hard to do, but remember everyone wants different things from their weddings.


Being a Bride can be one of the most emotional and stressful times of your life. Sometimes you just need to rant, cry over table plans, moan about everyone and everything and sound insanely selfish whilst doing it. But as a Bridesmaid all the Bride really wants is for you to listen, be at the end of the phone and give her a big hug. It will all blow over, you know that and she knows that, but in that moment, nothing else matters.


If the Bride is freaking out, don’t join her. This is where you step up, fix the problem, play the hero. There will be disasters along the wedding planning journey, family fall outs, dresses not fitting, things breaking, deliveries not turning up, suppliers cancelling etc. If you can help fix them, go for it. If you can’t, then just be the calm in the storm.


Your Bride will think about you more than you know. Whether it’s how beautiful you will look in your dress, how gutted she is you won’t have a plus one, or just how she can possibly buy you a gift that says ‘Thank you’ in all the ways she wants to, you will always be at the forefront of her mind, So repay the favour. Think about the little extras that might make the day that little bit more special, or any surprises you can do along the way to de-stress her, she will really appreciate the fact that you are thinking about her as much as she is thinking about you.


Apart from the perfect hen do, your Bride will want all of her favourite girls by her side so you can all enjoy the fun together. Make sure you plan some fun into the stress, make memories as a team along the way and ensure the night before her wedding is the best girly sleepover you have had to date. Those memories will last forever.

I am lucky enough to be a Bridesmaid twice next year for two of my closest friends and I cannot wait. Hopefully, I take some of my own advice, or they will be able to hold it up to haunt me!

  • Erin cotter
    29th November 2017

    Awesome tips! Thanks Gemma! I’ll definitely refer to these when I get asked to be a bridesmate! ♡

    • Gemma Spinks
      Erin cotter
      4th December 2017

      Oh glad to hear it! Its so much fun being a Bridesmaid. x

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