Once you get passed the excitement of the ring, the love bubble, the endless congratulations and general feeling of “life can never get better”, the real wedding planning can start. And let’s not sugar coat this, wedding planning sucks!
Well, sometimes it sucks.
It can be stressful, painful, bloody expensive and for some people, absolutely nothing like what they first imagined. Why? Because you will have never planned anything so flipping big or important in your whole entire life, and the likelihood is, you won’t again!
I think I am one of those oddball Brides that actually had a pretty stress free wedding planning journey, but even I came across some stumbling blocks. So I thought I would give you Brides a handy heads up on all the things people don’t tell you about wedding planning.
The budget is never enough!
Weddings are insanely expensive!! There is no two ways about it, they cost a bomb. So as soon as you realise that every supplier you contact will hike up the price as soon as you say wedding, then you will be fine. Be bold, negotiate, and if you can’t or won’t pay it, then don’t! And make sure you have some flex in the budget – you will need it. Check out my blog on tips for planning a wedding on a budget to help you cut some costs.
Stamps are super expensive!
Oh my god, how Royal Mail is not the richest company on the planet is beyond me. £65 for 100 stamps and don’t forget you need them for save the dates, invitations and thank you’s! Try and hand deliver as many invites as you can to cut costs here.
Third party suppliers are a nightmare!
Ok, so hand on heart this was the most stressful part of my wedding planning. They don’t reply to you, they have no urgency, they cost a bomb and unfortunately, in my experience, they don’t deliver! I am not saying all suppliers are the same, we had some fantastic ones, but the majority were all the same – florists are the worst! – completely and utterly unresponsive. I know they deal with hundreds of weddings a year and you are just one Bride of many, but you should feel like you are the only Bride they have on their books.
A small wedding will be just as much effort as a big one!
It doesn’t really matter about the size or the cost of a wedding from a planning perspective. Unless you are going to elope, then every wedding has all the same elements. Whether you offer fish and chips or a five course a la carte meal, have one Bridesmaid or ten, you will still have all the same problems and stresses as every other Bride and Groom. And if you are planning a smaller wedding still give yourself enough time, don’t assume just because it’s a small wedding it means you can plan it in a month, you can’t.
You won’t look like a supermodel in your dress!
I was of the impression that as soon as I stepped into this wonderful white dress then I would look the most beautiful I had ever looked, my lumps and bumps would disappear and my hair would turn golden and glossy. Reality check, I was still me! Wedding dresses are beautiful and they certainly make you feel like a Princess, but you will still have all the hang ups you have when you try on any other dress. They also won’t fit you. As long as you remember this then you can enjoy the experience to the max, don’t enter the shop expecting to be wowed by your own self, just love what you have and embrace it. Find a dress that accentuates the fab areas you do have and you will not only look beautiful, you will feel beautiful too. I had mine made in the end – best thing I did.
The wedding may take a turn you never expected!
Whether it’s the colours, the theme, the location or the style, what you thought you might want when you started planning might not be what you end up with. Just go with the flow, if you want it, do it, if you don’t like it, change it. I never in a million years thought I would have a book themed wedding, and we didn’t just have a book themed wedding, we HAD a book themed wedding!
People will piss you off!
Believe it or not, not everyone will think your plans are as wonderful as you do. You will have meddling family, friends, Bridesmaids, who all think they know best. Or on the other hand, you might get annoyed at those who don’t care enough! Just try not to take it to heart. Remember you love your friends and family for a variety of reasons and most of the time they are only meddling because they care. But most of all, remember, it is YOUR wedding, nobody else’s.
You will piss people off!
You will, a lot! Whether you have gone all out Bridezilla or just particularly anal about one small thing, you are going to annoy someone. It is also important to remember that not everyone will agree with your decisions. Whether that be the decision to get married in a church, the table plan, the food choice, the dresses you pick for the Bridesmaids. You are never going to please everyone, so don’t try.
Not everyone will appreciate the effort!
Now this is a slightly awkward one and I am sure not everyone will agree on this, but I was quite put out by the number of people that turned up to my wedding without a card or present! And I am not talking an evening guest that is a friend of your Mum and Dad that you haven’t seen for ten years but had to invite, I am talking quite significant people in the wedding party! Hello, do you have any idea how much flipping money I spent on you today?! You might feel like you wouldn’t get annoyed by this and that actually all that matters is that they turned up. But when you have spent over a year planning, budgeting, haemorrhaging money on food, drink and some very well thought out favours/gifts, to not get a card or a present in return is a very large slap in the face. And an even bigger slap in the face is when someone takes the time to buy you a card but they spell the name of the Groom wrong…
You will randomly cry about the most pathetic things!
The moment I realised the wedding planning had got a bit much for me was when I found myself hysterically crying over the fact that my Husband to be didn’t think the Groomsmen should all buy the same tuxedo. I mean I really did care about them looking the same but it didn’t need the extreme outburst of full on, can’t breathe, wipe your snot on your sleeve type crying. But it’s ok, you can laugh about it after, and it won’t be the last time you do it, believe me!
And an after wedding thought…
Sex on the wedding night? Forget it!
And you won’t be alone. Apparently 52% of people don’t consummate their marriage on their wedding night. You might be too drunk, tired, overwhelmed, or your new Husband may be on all fours puking his guts up next to your stunning four poster bed – I speak from experience – but realistically the hanky panky is going to be minimal on the wedding night. Save those sexy undies for the honeymoon!